Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank announced he received orders from Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker and the Zions Bank Board of Directors (1%) to use any means necessary, including the use of deadly force, to disperse the Occupy Salt Lake City protesters whom have taken over Pioneer Park. In a press release [...]
FRIDAY POLL: What Utah politician is the most likely to become involved with a sex scandal?
Like most Americans, you probably read somewhere on the Internet that Congressman Anthony “Wiener” Weiner resigned from Congress yesterday. You were shocked! You were surprised! Then you masturbated to pictures of Anthony “Wiener” Weiner’s wiener, and moved on with your life. Not us! We live for political scandals. In fact, this whole sex scandal got [...]
Let’s Spend $100 Million Dollars to Make Downtown SLC Less Spooky
Have you visited downtown Salt Lake City recently? It’s really spooky. It’s a ghost town, but with lots of construction. (The construction workers are ghosts.) In fact, last week I even saw a tumbleweed blow across the street! The tumbleweed was then hit by TRAX, which derailed, killing 17 people. Oh no, more ghost construction [...]