The Absolute Worst that Utah Has to Offer
On Monday the nation was presented with Obama’s “populist vision” for how federal spending should shape up for the 2013 fiscal year. Residing on the one end of the spectrum (the region that I like to call ‘reality’), the 2013 budget included $850B for job creation in the form of job programs and infrastructure spending, [...]
Following December’s disastrous fracturing of the GOP over the payroll tax cut extensions, the GOP held a party meeting for all 242 house members to come up with a unified agenda for 2012. Emerging from the meeting was a consensus between the slightly less crazy main GOP and far right tea party members to generically [...]
Yesterday, hundreds of websites followed our lead and went black* to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act and the PROTECT IP Act. There were obvious problems with what the U.S. Congress was trying to do with these bills, but that apparently didn’t matter to them. Unlike the debt ceiling debates where no one could agree [...]
We haven’t really talked much about Jason Chaffetz since he pussied out and decided to not take on Orrin Hatch. However, Chaffetz reemerged yesterday when he decided to bring a moment of clarity to the SOPA debates by saying: Let’s bring the nerds in and get this right … If you don’t know what DNSSEC [...]
Happy Halloween, sinners! So you’ve waited until the last minute to find a Halloween costume for your ward’s trunk-or-treat activity tonight – and you can’t wear your mom’s clothes like you did last year, because of the pesky new “no cross-dressing” commandment. Don’t worry – your least favorite Utah blog, Telestial State, is here to [...]
Jason Chaffetz, you motherfucker. For months, the ‘good’ people of Utah have been holding their breath and/or waiting with baited breath and/or some metaphor with breath for the Brawl of the Century. Jason Chaffetz, the Tea Party teenager, was all but likely to challenge the Senate seat of Orrin Hatch, the confused Republican grandfather. And [...]
As the dust settles around the recent Congressional cocaine binge compromise surrounding the debt ceiling, we thought it’d be good to give a little summary of how each our fantastic politicians did. First of all, here’s a recap of what passed: The debt ceiling will be increased by $2.1 trillion, giving the Executive Branch the ability to [...]
Apparently a bunch of people at the Transportation Security Administration were e-mailing each other about what a bad job they were doing. Not only were they infringing on people’s 4th amendment rights*, but they weren’t even doing a good job of keeping knitting needles and fingernail clippers off planes. Turns out, since the TSA took [...]
Don’t worry everyone, an 86-year old man has been released from the hospital!!! Neat! On to the next story. According to a recent Deseret News/KSL-TV poll,* only 38% of registered voters want to keep Old Man Hatch in his Senate seat. The remaining 114% of voters want Jason Chaffetz to become the next Mormon Senator [...]
Like most Americans, you probably read somewhere on the Internet that Congressman Anthony “Wiener” Weiner resigned from Congress yesterday. You were shocked! You were surprised! Then you masturbated to pictures of Anthony “Wiener” Weiner’s wiener, and moved on with your life. Not us! We live for political scandals. In fact, this whole sex scandal got [...]