The Absolute Worst that Utah Has to Offer
C’mon, America. CUH-MON. Obama was totally probably lying when he announced that Bin Laden was killed!! Osama Bin Laden is not dead, and the Moon landing, and Jimmy Hoffa, and Roswell, and Where’s My Inhaler!!! Faster than it takes to roll a dead old Muslim with kidney failure into a lake, the so-called “Deather” Movement* [...]
Barack Obama pulls a dusty skeleton key from his breast pocket and blows on it. He jangles the thousand-year old padlock, inserts the key, and then patiently leans against the large metal door until it budges. He enters the massive storage locker, and walks briskly past Amelia Earhart’s crashed plane, Jimmy Hoffa’s skeleton, and the [...]