The Absolute Worst that Utah Has to Offer
Um, as you totally already know, the LDS Church does not, like, you know, get involved in politics. Like, ever. Duh. Tubular. Let’s go to the mall. In fact, the LDS Church is so far removed from politics, that they’ve even released a press release highlighting their political neutrality* [emphasis added]: “The Church’s mission is [...]
Well, we did it. Telestial State is now a year old. How depressing is that? It was one year ago today, April 14, 2011, that we wrote our first post. Since then, we’ve been through many changes — which is appropriate, as we have the emotional maturity of teenagers. Every LDS General Conference, a member [...]
Share “ Time just flies when you’re being crass: tomorrow is the 1-year anniversary of Telestial State. How are YOU planning to celebrate? Telestial State Fri, Apr 13 2012 13:31:35 ReplyRetweet Share “ In the bishop’s office MT @telestialstate: tomorrow is the 1-year anniversary of Telestial State. How are YOU planning to celebrate? Kyle Fri, [...]
Well, that’s that. The race for the Republican nominee is over. Rick Santorum dribbled* out of the race yesterday to spend more time working with George Zimmerman on their upcoming buddy cop movie.** Since Rick Santorum is out, that means just one thing… “Romney about to make history for Mormons.” Oh mother of god, this [...]
Occasionally we are forced to write about good news. There’s just no way around it. Now sure, criticizing BYU, conservatives, the Deseret News, the GOP debates, homophobes, Jason Chaffetz, the LDS Church, Mark Shurtleff, Mike Lee, Mitt Romney, Mormon culture, Orrin Hatch, racists, Republicans, and the Utah Legislature are our bread and butter. It’s what [...]
Let’s make something perfectly clear. The LDS Church doesn’t hate the blacks. In fact, some of the LDS Church’s closest friends are black! Take a look at this chart of the 100+ General Authorities that lead the LDS Church — all of the black General Authorities have been circled. As you can see, there are [...]
There. We did it. Now stop complaining. While you were busy honoring the Presidents Day holiday by buying a new mattress,* Telestial State spent the weekend by giving our website a badly needed facelift. We gave up our 3-day holiday for our readers, because we care SO much about our readers.** However, like all facelifts, [...]
We’ll make this simple. We’re bribing our readers. We really want to win the City Weekly’s “Best of Utah” contest in any of the following categories: Best Local Blog/Site Best Local on Twitter Worst Utahn Do we deserve it? Probably not. But we really want it.* So, we’re now resorting to bribery. Here’s how this [...]
Jon McNaughton is still trying to save the world. One shitty painting at a time. Last April we wrote about McNaughton, a Mormon tea bagging ‘artist’ who became popular on the Internet when one of his Jesus paintings, “One Nation Under God,” went viral.* At the time, abortion-loving gay-promoting alcohol-imbibing BYU had decided not to [...]
Stop holding your breath, everybody. Mitt Romney finally released his tax returns today. It’s like Christmas came 11 months early!* Romney had been under considerable pressure recently, from both Democrats and his GOP rivals, to release his 2010 tax return. So, he did. All 203 pages of it. Remember when you were required to read [...]