Did you know the MTC is critically out of space and in need of a new, sparkly 9-story building? Envious of their bretheren to the North at City Creek, the Provo MTC was making plans to build a new building in place of several old classrooms. Since Provo isn’t a direct theocracy (yet), things still have to have a veneer of officialdom by receiving things like building permits and holding resident comment periods prior to construction.
Fabulous Mormon Jesus really needs the closet space.
The only problem is that neighbors didn’t really want a giant new building in their neighborhood. In a surprising display of backbone, residents (who mirror the areas obscene demographics of being primarily LDS) formally opposed the structure.
Neighborhood chairman R. Paul Evans, a practicing Mormon, had led the opposition to the project. [...] Previously, Evans’ group had felt comfortable opposing the high-rise plan because, he said, church leaders emphasized that the issue of zoning was secular, not ecclesiastical.
Naturally, LDS Church leaders would have none of their sheep exercising their free will. On Sunday, they made the issue a non-secular one. Delivering a message from the church leadership, it was read that “They [the leadership] consider the MTC rebuild an ecclesiastical matter, a decision that was the result of careful and prayerful discussion.” Making something an ecclesiastical matter means that it was a revelation from god himself that this building needed to be here, and right now, and opposing it is akin to breaking a commandment from god himself. The LDS Church effectively held a gun up to his salvation’s head and asked him just how much he wanted to see heaven.
Chairman Evans withered and withdrew his opposition to the matter, even going so far as to request that his name be formally removed from city records that recorded his prior opposition.
[Evans] said that before the invitation was extended, more than 80 percent of the Pleasant View group wanted to hold discussions with the church, which told them to take it up with MTC administrative director Richard Heaton. After the July 1 church meeting, however, an overwhelming majority decided to drop their opposition.
When asked for a comment about the matter, the LDS Church sent an email that said ”To suggest that this was an attempt by Church leaders to exercise undue influence is without merit.” Shouldn’t people know that Church Leaders are just delivering God’s Word by saying “we really don’t want you to oppose our plans unless you wanna party with those boozed up sodomites over at Telestial State?”
We here at Telestial State love this idea. The Legislature needs to realize that god totally told us that abundant liquor licenses and equal rights for LGBT individuals are not only cool with him, but entirely an ecclesiastical issue and you should stop dicking around about his commandments and get to it. I think I remember something in the bible (at least the parts I can still read that aren’t vodka soaked) about loving each other and not being total fucking dicks about everything. But the ink blurred after that part so I’m probably wrong.
But seriously, how much more blatant can you get? Why does this cult who worships a made up god still receive tax-exempt status again? They keep sticking their nose, their face, their foot, and their entire fucking selves into politics (local and national) and receive nothing but a slap on the wrist. God (hah!) only knows what would happen in the back rooms of the Whitehouse should Mittens win the presidency this year. Keep it up Church. Someday you’ll get bitten much harder than you did after prop-8 and then I can pull out my schadenfreude cum rag and enjoy it.