Utah Democrats Tenuous Existence
Utah Democrats have recognized the inevitable – that they must begin appealing to the broader Mormon base in Utah or risk going extinct. Like the lung fish, struggling to breathe on the swampy shores of the cradle of life inexplicably zapped into existence 4,000 years ago (Thanks Jesus!), the Utah Democratic chairman Jim Dabakis has begun reaching out to more moderate LDS members by hiring LDS Outreach Organizers like Craig Janis. ”Most LDS Democrats have felt like they’ve had to stay in the closet about it,” said Craig Janis, outreach co-chairman for the LDS Democrats. Those Mormons sure do love keeping things (and people) in their closets.
In an effort to appeal to the non-bat-shit-crazy members of the church, the Democrats held a sensitivity training class titled “LDS 101″ to explain church history, culture, and pointers on interacting with members. Cimarron Chacon, a candidate for the UT House of Representatives found the training invaluable. Chacon was educated on the LDS Church’s immense humanitarian efforts and teachings about helping the poor in the training class and found that she ”just realized so many commonalities.”
Change, Illegal since 1955
Extending the display of these “commonalities” to the public, the Utah Democratic Party has created UtahCommonValues.org. This Pinterest like site has groupings of stories and photos from church members who dare to drag their inner donkey out of the closet and let it frolic around on the ward lawn. Stories from the likes of Brad Carmack, an LGBT community outreach organizer who has chosen to retain his LDS faith in the face of those struggling to reconcile that same faith and their sexuality. Or from Olivia Ostler, a UofU student who ”believe[s] in being service-oriented, kind, hard-working, and being as humble as possible.” Some church members could do with a revisit to their teachings and take away what Olivia and her profiled compatriots are talking about.
What isn’t present on that website is the word Democrat or liberal. The word progressive and even conservative gets thrown around plenty on there, avoiding the dirty dirty D and L words. Perhaps this is wise, given that dipping into the “civil dialogue among its readers” in the Deseret News Comment Section we can gauge the general reception to the concept. Some gems are highlighted here:
LDS doctrine states that two plans were presented in the Pre-Mortal life. One plan was rejected. That plan would have forced all men to obey all the commandments. When Democrats attempt to force people to “give to charity” it reminds me of the rejected plan. The D&C states that the “Idler shall not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the laborer.” In forcing me to support government charities they are also forcing me to violate another commandment.
So even though the LDS Church hard-on for charity never ceases to rage, if you’re giving that money to an organization that won’t build malls or interfere in out of state politics, but actually uses that money to say, feed poor people, that’s breaking one of your commandments?
The Utah Republican Party has not been taken over by “extremists,” but it’s a nice try by Dabakis to cleverly apply this false label. Republicans support less government, lower taxes, traditional families, capitalism, strong national defense, private property rights, personal responsibility, and the U.S. Constitution. That doesn’t sound very extreme.
Not too extreme, to you perhaps. Republicans support less government except for defense contractors, lower taxes for millionaires, traditional families and repression to the point of suicide for anyone else, capitalism at the expense of your health and the planet, strong national defense to the point it erodes your liberty, private property rights until they come and take it away under eminent domain, personal responsibility except in the case of liquor and abortions where we can’t be left to make our own decisions, and the US Constitution except for all those lovely amendments we want to make to it to force a crippling balanced budget on the nation and enshrine traditional marriage, and whatever other social ailment we feel like modifying it to capture. Yes. Not extreme at all.
Massacre In Utah
We gave you a chance for the past three long years. It has almost destroyed everything I hold dear. NO more chances. Be gone.
Um. What? Can we ask Dabakis to investigate the Democratic canvasser who broke into your house and smashed your Hummel collection? Oh wait, that didn’t happen? Then what. the. fuck. are you on about?
Voting for Democrats is like chicken voting for Col. Sanders.
Utah Democrats – Killing Utah LDS Voters since 1885 and frying them up in a delicious mix of herbs and spices. For our abortion parties, where we worship Satan and have a blood orgy. All on Sunday.
It goes on, and on, and on, much like this delightful turtle with a much less delightful nature. There are over 110 comments when I last checked, and 90% of them essentially say “If the Democrats want me to vote for them they should be more Republican.” Well then, they wouldn’t be Democrats honey. They’d be Mitt Romney, saying whatever the hell is needed to get your vote. If you’re going to take a dip into the comments, I highly suggest that you forgo the glass and just drink straight from the bottle.
Kudos to Utah Democrats for trying, but I’m pretty sure that any Mormon who is aware that the Utah GOP is the party that imposed an abstinence-only sex-ed mandate on the state, crammed special interest school vouchers into the system, killed a bill that would have kept class sizes manageable in grades K-3, and wasted their legislative session naming an official state gun, cooking pot and winter sport is conscience enough to know what party they want to be a member of or not. The only effect of having some LDS Outreach members for the Utah Democrats is that there are going to be a lot of lock repairmen getting calls from people breaking their doors after not being able to slam them fast enough and hard enough.