The Absolute Worst that Utah Has to Offer
I had the distinct honor of having to spend about a year writing for The Daily Universe—BYU’s presumptuously named student newspaper—in order to graduate. Yesterday it was announced that The Daily Universe would update their antiquated business model, something newspapers around the world have been doing for quite some time. They will be shifting to a digital-first format [...]
In the fourth installment of our ongoing series “Orrin Hatch is an Idiot” back in June, I laid into the 36-year* Senator for the mutual masturbation he was engaging in with the nutritional supplement industry. Our blogging balls had barely dropped way back then, yet the message contained in those poetic words still holds strong. [...]
Here is our obligatory blog post about Mitt Romney winning the New Hampshire Primary, as mandated by federal law. We really didn’t want to write this, but we also don’t want to go to jail.* Mitt Romney won, with 39.3% of the votes. Ron Paul came in second, with 22.8% of the votes. Jon Huntsman [...]
The Obama administration yesterday extended the ban on mining for Uranium in the Grand Canyon area. Leaving the physical, as well as the institutional and financial destruction of America to the GOP, Ken Salazar of the Interior Department said: “A withdrawal is the right approach for this priceless American landscape,” Salazar said in a speech at [...]
Last week, Rolling Stone posted an article titled, The Quiet Ones: 12 Leaders Who Get Things Done. The idea behind the article was that while some Washington politicians have gridlocked the political process, a dozen bold, brave, stalwart leaders are pushing through the bullshit and getting stuff done. Number 12 on that list was our own [...]
Utah’s democrats, all three of them in the Utah Legislature, held a token Twitter town meeting on January 5th to discuss the Utah DABC woes. While it’s nice to have a pretend democratic process, the meeting itself was about useful as, well, the Utah DABC. As the bastard great grandson of Orin Porter Rockwell, Brother [...]
If the past nine months of Republican campaigning, polling, and caucusing has taught us anything, it’s that none of it really matters; the most recent circlejerk in Iowa was no different. Allow me to illuminate*: Apr. 2011: Donald Trump Leads 2012 GOP Field Jul. 2011: Michele Bachmann Leads Iowa Polls Sep. 2011: Perry Leads GOP Rivals in [...]
You gotta admit, it’s a pretty fucking great time to “work” for the Deseret News.* Mitt Romney is the one to thank for that. You see, the Deseret News loves Mitt Romney. Like, a lot. Like, more than my 10-year-old niece loves Justin Bieber. Like, staff writers of the Deseret News have been accused** of [...]
Good morning Utah! Have you kept your New Year’s resolutions so far? JK, we don’t give a shit. The world’s going to end in 354 days anyway*, so if there ever was a time to get fat and max out your credit cards, it’s now. Telestial State was on a bit of a hiatus over [...]
