Instead, let’s talk about how God doesn’t love BYU anymore.
This past Saturday, the Sons of Perdition at the University of Utah played the Sons of Helaman at Brigham Young University. As everyone knows, God loves BYU more than the U. This due to the fact that BYU is full of students who don’t drink coffee or watch Schindler’s List, and the U is full of people who are alcoholics and have AIDS.* So, BYU was supposed to win, as proof of BYU’s righteousness before the eyes of the Lord.
Except they didn’t. The U beat the shit out of BYU, 54-10. Not only did the U beat BYU: it was the “worst rivalry loss since 1922.”
So let’s all raise a glass to that invisible white grandpa in the sky, and thank him for destroying the testimonies of thousands of BYU students.
If it weren’t for all the wives buried with him, Brigham Young would be rolling in his grave.
*Source: Deseret News