The Absolute Worst that Utah Has to Offer
This may come as a shock, but Utah has both criminals and drug addicts; Utah even has criminals who are also drug addicts. Unfortunately, when many of those criminals get out of prison they don’t have the skills necessary to compete in the real world—and they’re still drug addicts. Enter Golden Spike Treatment Ranch: The [...]
This weekend is the 181st* Semiannual General Super Conference, Brought to You by Ivory Homes and Paxil. It’s that magical time of the year when we sit at home and watch hours of commercial-free television, featuring old people talking about donating our money to them. It’s worse than PBS.** Most non-Mormon Salt Lake City residents [...]
So there’s a presidential candidate named Gary Johnson. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because he used to be your high school PE teacher. He’s running for president because that’s what old white ex-politicians do when they get bored.* Gary (as his friends and nobody else calls him) used to be the governor of… google [...]
If you visited CNN.com yesterday morning,* you may have noticed that the front page featured a story about a gay Mormon. You know, one of those. So what is it about Mitch Mayne the Legendary Gay Mormon that is so newsworthy and groundbreaking, that everyone from the Salt Lake Tribune to the San Francisco Examiner to [...]
Last week, Executive Chairman of Google Eric Schmidt appeared before a Senate Judiciary subcommittee to answer some questions about Google’s search results. Allegedly, Google has been giving their own websites an extra boost in certain SERPs. For instance, if I search for “restaurant reviews”, Zagat.com is the first result; it just so happens that Google owns [...]
Good morning Utah! Have you lost your job, did your girlfriend break up with you, and have you just filed for bankruptcy? Of course you have! Looking for something to do this weekend, aside from drinking to make the pain go away until you go legally blind? Why not join Volunteers of America – Utah? [...]
There has been a significant movement over the past few years—fueled mostly by the Tea Party—for a smaller federal government. Politicians in D.C. have been overreaching their bounds for decades, and it’s time that changed. In fact, it was on this platform that Senator Mike Lee was elected to the Senate, and the other Utahn members [...]
Good job, Deseret News! Another misleading headline of yours, another dollar. This has happened with such frequency, that a more cynical person than myself might start to believe that the Deseret News intentionally uses manipulatively provocative headlines to lure in readers. Oh, what ever happened to innocence? The 4th most popular story on the Deseret [...]
Last Friday, Deseret News readers were exposed to the most vile of filth known to exist on the planet: the University of Utah’s student newspaper, the Daily Utah Chronicle. Each year the Daily Utah Chronicle creates a rival issue; it’s a preview of that year’s “Holy War” between the University of Utah and Brigham Young [...]
Good morning Utah! Did you watch the Emmys last night? Can you believe that Mad Men and Modern Family won all those awards and Jane Lynch is a lesbian and JK, nobody gives a shit. Instead, let’s talk about how God doesn’t love BYU anymore. This past Saturday, the Sons of Perdition at the University [...]