Conservative Christian TV commentator* Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck held a rally in Israel yesterday. You probably didn’t notice though because Kim Kardashian was getting married and Steve Jobs was resigning from Apple and Michelle Bachmann’s husband was fucking a go-go boy and Iron Chef was cooking with anchovies and baby powder. The point is, other shit was happening.
And what exactly was the theme of Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck’s rally, you wonder**? The theme was Restoring Fucking Courage (Editor’s note: we added the profanity. OR DID WE?!?!) Yes, you read correctly. The theme to his rally was “Restoring Courage.” Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck, a multi-millionaire who lives in a gated, guarded home somewhere in AmericaTM, flew across the Atlantic Ocean on a private jet to tell people who live in Jerusalem — one of the most dangerous areas in the world — “to have courage.”
Praise be to Jesus!***
Absolutely nothing about this even makes sense. Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck is an anti-Semite. So why would he want to spend his vacation in Israel? Who is he telling Jews in the Middle East to have more courage? Who is he going to lecture to about courage next — the Seals who killed Osama Bin Laden?
It’s as almost if Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck doesn’t have a game plan anymore, and is struggling just to stay relevant and in the news. Remember that one time when your uncle got so drunk at your cousin’s wedding that he struggled just to stay on his own two feet?
I sincerely apologize for using an alcohol-related metaphor in an article about Glenn “Not an anti-Semite” Beck.
*Deseret News’ actual words, not ours.
**You didn’t wonder
***Not so fast, Jews.