Governor Gary Herbert Urges Utah Businesses to Stop Being Equal Opportunity Employers

Gary Herbert touches himself.I have a real journalism degree from a real-ish university. Because of this, since graduating I’ve spent a good portion of my time looking for work. It hasn’t been easy finding a job, which is why I twilight as a sex worker – and even that is getting harder.

But now, Governor Herbert wants to abandon the principles of equal opportunity employment and give preferential treatment to a specific group of people: those who have served in the military.

On Monday – as he declared June as Utah’s Patriot Partnership Month – Herbert sealed the fate of all those unemployed people who were too weak, small, or scared to perpetuate the multiple pointless and illegal wars the Unites States is currently fighting. He’s said that those of us who refused to join a military which takes up a huge chunk of the federal budget and is plummeting the country into bankruptcy can go to the back of the employment line. He said that if you were tricked into military service by one of those weird uniformed recruiters hanging around Walmart, you’re automatically more qualified for the job — any job.

What are the pale, fragile, weak among us supposed to do to get work? We knew we couldn’t cut it in the military; that’s why we didn’t join. And we’ve seen Forrest Gump enough times to know that if you do join the military, you’ll become retarded.*

Herbert obviously doesn’t care about unemployment, is against education, and is a key player in the military industrial complex. He also doesn’t care about treating job applicants equally; I bet he’s even okay with giving preferential treatment to people who may happen to be members of the dominant local religion. And he’s probably one of those people who thinks you should be guaranteed a job based solely on the titles you held, not on actual accomplishments.

What Utah’s Patriot Partnership really says is:

You have mountains of student debt and real marketable skills that could help improve the economy? Fuck off.

You killed some innocent towelhead civilians in Pakghaniraq? Here, have a job.


*I haven’t actually seen Forrest Gump, but it is on my Netflix.