Legislators in Utah’s vaunted state government have declared war on the U.S . Constitution – again! Back in 1857, Utah turned its nose up to the United States, declaring the creation of the land of Zion to be free of any government except its own. Once again, 150 years later, Utah’s legislature has determined the US Constitution to be in error and the legislature is ready to begin its own negotiations with foreign governments on the issue of immigration.
Despite being specifically prohibited from negotiating or enacting treaties with foreign governments, (see US Constitution, Article 1, Section 10, paragraph 1, which states “No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.”) the Utah Legislature has cut a deal with the state of Nuevo Laredo in Mexico with respect to establishing a “Guest Worker” program.
U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is bewildered and confused with respect to this declaration of independence by Utah lawmakers. “Don’t these dumb asses read the Constitution?” Holder asked when confronted with this latest affront to the US government. “I heard about these idiots wanting to make their own money and coins, but this one really takes the cake! Next thing you know, they’re gonna want to have a state gun or some such nonsense!”
“We don’t need no stinkin’ USCIS,” Becky Lockhart, Speaker of the Utah House of Representatives was recently quoted as saying during another legislative closed-door session dealing with 1st Amendment restrictions in Utah. “I don’t know who these government sycophants are… telling us what to do in our own state!”
“Utah citizens are citizens of Utah first,” Michael Waddoups, Utah State Senate Majority Leader declared. “The United States government has never represented our needs, interests, or culture in matters of legislative responsibility. If they won’t do it, then we will!”
“By being able to bring in and employ guest workers from Mexico, Utahns will enjoy a better standard of living,” LDS Church Prophet and President Thomas S. Monson adds. “Everyone knows Mexicans will do all the things we don’t want to. And that makes life better and easier to live for the rest of us. Thank goodness they don’t mind doing shit work, otherwise, we’d have to assign returned missionaries or church custodians to do this kind of work. Now, we have an unlimited supply of under-educated, illiterate, and willing workers whose dirt poor standards of living won’t cut into any Utahn’s higher living standard.”
“You know,” Monson continues, with a wink, “We never really wanted to be a part of the United States since the beginning. We just thought a policy of going along to get along was best until we had the infrastructure, financing, devoted citizen base, and old boy network that would permit this separation to take place successfully.”